(copied from my blog earlier today, cuz i simply have no life.)

today in Nut Class we learned about phobias and other neuroses. here are some little-known ones i think are pretty important in our current world:

palmalivophobia: fear of clean dishes.

zoorophobia: fear of U2.

sucrofun-ophobia: fear of Fun Dipps or Pixie stix.

disenfranchosis: intense sweating, palpitations and skin rash when confronted with GOP politics. may also include diarrhea and welfare.

generalized affixitosis syndrome: sexual arousal brought on by Scotch Tape and other popular adhesives.

perpetual residual unspecified bettycrockeriasis (PRUB): trauma induced by intense wanting (and never having received) an Easy Bake Oven as a child.

hydrofelaromitism: preoccuaption with sniffing wet cats. common in veteranarians.

granular groin syndrome: possessing a constant sand-wad in yr bathing suit.

cleaval aerosuspention disorder: wearers of push-up bra's.

frigid syrupeanutitus: trauma induced by intense wanting (and never having received) a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine as a child.

snuffleuffophobia: fear of large, hairy quasi-mastodon creature on popular children's television show.

rectovisual verbatim-adnauseam syndrome: disorder in which the individual, in addition to observing posteriors of others, is compelled to repeatedly report his/her findings on the subject in question, i.e. "Did you see the ass on her??" [see also boobovisual-]

-----> related disorders: see rampant violence-response commentosis satiation: subject (often female) grows tired of her recto-/boobovisual verbatim adnauseam partner and reacts, quite often in the public arena, by pouring a drink on him, bitch-slapping him, or simply cowering in the obscurity of self-loathing and inadequacy.
often these victims will later employ kickassicistic menengrageme tactics. the key to
rehabilitation is empowerment and often lookimagoddess-hooyeh tribalism with others
of similar gender, or the "I Rock, You Rock, We Rock" school of transactional analysis. recovery is variable but is almost certain!!

see? if only these things were in the DSM, psychiatric professionals would have a lot less work to do!

ok, time to snort some lines.